I won’t say that I miss him
but I will admit that I miss that feeling;
the one that made me feel alive and full of joy
the feeling that kept me thinking of the one I loved all day long.
I could feel butterflies rain on my fingers
their wings would paint my skin the color of their bodies;
they would tickle me with their small legs
and then flutter all the way into my heart.
I could enjoy the darkness knowing that I would be safe
feel it seeping through my eyelids to reach my dreams
only to embrace me with its shadow
to protect me with its warmth.
I would welcome the breeze through my window
feel it caress my cheeks and arms
it would bring me sweet smells
but even sweeter memories.
I will admit that I miss that feeling
I will agree that I would happily accept it again
but only if I don’t get hurt
only if it is real.
I don’t want to be torn, blinded or confused,
no more am I to be tricked or deceived.
The next time it will be pure, lasting and perfect
the next time it will be forever.
And the I will accept that feeling
with only my heart in mind.
I will welcome that feeling
like the spring flowers welcome the hungry bees.