I do not know which I detest the most;
my sadness or missing you.
I have a void I cannot fill and its swallowing me in,
I have a hurt I cannot cure, I feel defeated.
My heart is a bleeding ulcer.
My hope drips, a putrefied black ooze, from the gap
where your love used to be, I am loveless.
My tears have dried up, I don’t show the illness.
I show the strong, the mighty me,
the outer shell made of titanium; indestructible.
The bulletproof exterior of a successful woman
who, likes to work, who,likes to take charge.
But my dark insides long to be brightened by you
to once more feel the soothe of those kisses
that made all of the hurt disappear with the touch
of your smooth lips on mine.
My heart aches and my body follows it,
my mind travels elsewhere, I am not here,
I am always looking for you
chasing memories of you as I wake, as I sleep.
My lungs do not hold air for me,
they hold pain and compress my chest.
I breathe the toxic air of your departure.
I sink each day more into loneliness.
I do not know which I detest the most,
the imprint you left on my irises or
not having the part you took from me.
One thing is sure, you left me a whole lot of