Empty

So this is what an empty heart feels like?
Desolate and scared?
I lay on my bed and the
shadows of the night want to
suffocate me,
they grasp at my skin,
scratch my eyes and
press on my chest trying to
make me stop breathing.
I sob quietly in the darkness,
my tears not disturbing anyone
because nobody cares.
I am drowning,
I am sinking deeper and deeper.
I need help, but no one sees it,
I need a crying shoulder
but they are all too busy.
I need someone but there is no one.
And everyday my heart feels emptier,
I keep giving away my love
to all the ones around me
but it is not being returned,
my love is not being replenished
I am a well that will soon go dry.
I am dying emotionally,
and even though my body
may look strong and healthy it is not.
On the inside a woman cries and shouts,
screams her pain incessantly
but her cries bounce of the walls
of her empty heart muted by her exterior,
no one can hear.
On the inside lies a frail broken young girl
whose hands,
arms
and legs
do not respond anymore
and her body is so skinny
that her veins are visibly exposed
against her skin,
she sits in a dark corner
with her arms cradling her chest,
she wears a baby blue camisole
that has been dampen by her tears
and her head is thrown forward
as she sways; as she cries.
And she always cries,
her cries never stop,
and everyday that heart she lives in
gets weaker and weaker
her home becoming smaller and smaller
until one day she will disappear
and although I will still be left on the outside
my inner self,
the piece of me that makes me who I am
will be lost forever.

—————–

I wrote this last night, I couldn’t sleep, I had too much anxiety, my chest felt so tight, I had pain and I felt alone. After writing this I felt so much better, I know it is kind of raw but it is explains a feeling that I keep very deep inside of me.

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