Last night as I was grasping
at the edges of sleep
thunder and lightning appeared in my bedroom
and presented our memories in neons of light.
I was startled, my heart wanting to escape
by climbing up my throat, scratching its way out.
What was this apparition that the elements had brung?
What was I to do with the message they had?
As I watched, our precious moments, yours and mine,
danced in a circle surrounding me, whispering love,
murmuring names, singing our promises to one another,
holding hands with the kisses that we once shared.
It is hurting me, this display of affection from the past,
it consumes my blood with fangs of regret
and stabs my minds its blades made of lament
it buries my peace in a dark muddy whole of indolence.
And then a window opens in this dark room of longing
and I find the only way to end this torture to my heart
and I need to find you and to see you and to hold you
in my arms to make newer memories than the ones that haunt me.
But caution has put a foot in front of me and
it blocks the door, it hits me with possible outcomes
and it questions and interrogated my thoughts.
What if his heart is in other hands, what if I can’t hear his voice?
The issues were heavier than what my soul could stand
and they pressed me and pushed me to lay back on the bed,
the mattress of tears I had just created, and
I obeyed and sank into the melancholy sheets once more.
But last night as I was grasping the remnants of my
broken heart, you laid a kiss upon my temple that
painted my mind back to life and erased all the worries.
You placed your heart in my hands and gave your love to me.